10 Things About Me That Are Completely True
There’s this 10 things you might not know about me type thing floating around on the internets, so I thought I’d give it a shot. Without further ado:
- I once saved Abraham Lincoln’s life. Details are confidential but suffice to say it involved a small clown and a badger.
- I was born in March. That automatically makes me a leprechaun.
- This one time I punched a blimp right in the face.
- I invented lampshading.
- I always have to use the same bathroom stall. I just take it with me wherever I go.
- I used to be a pirate, but I gave it up to pursue a career in salmon painting.
- I once won a Norse rap battle.
- The entirety of human knowledge has been stored in my head but I can’t remember where.
- I’m actually an NPC.
- I’m a pessimist which means I get to look forward to being negative every day.
- I can’t count.
If you already knew all of this, disregard the above and have a nice day.